The Black Cat Cinema, by Boaby Irvine

I remember the Black Cat well!

Ma aunty Ina took us tae see Calamity Jane in there. Ina was a rather young aunt, not much more than a teenager - aboot 18 or so.

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We settled into watch the picture and then along comes this big fat wummin who sat right doon in front of my aunty Ina, blocking oot the whole screen. And to make matters worse she was wearing a hat with big feathers in it.

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Ina was beside herself as the big wummin settled doon tae watch the glamorous Doris Day.

Ina fidgited about and then finally seemed to settle doon. At the end of the picture we all trooped oot in a single file, when Ina, calm as a mill pond, tapped the big wummin oan the shooder and haunded her the feathers or what ever the decoration wis oan her hat.

The big wummin's face turned awe shades of red and we took aff running like the boaggy man wis efter us.

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It seems what Ina was looking for in her Bag was her nail scissors, and unseen by us and all around, she cropped the big wummins hat as if she were cuttin floowers fur the hoose.
Ma wee aunty Ina was, and still is to this day, a riot - and a force to be reckoned with.
Awe ra best,
Boaby (Robert) Irvine
a.k.a. Bobbythescot@yahoo.com